Dark On Me
by EdgyFirebender
Summary: He should have known this was coming. It was stupid to have been clinging onto this foolish hope for so long. He should have seen it coming. Onesided Soutaku. Oneshot.


He should have known this was coming. It was stupid to have been clinging onto this foolish hope for so long. He should have seen it coming. And yet, the moment he laid eyes on them, outstretched arm drooping, words suddenly falling off his tongue. His cry of "Yukihira!" disappearing into thin air, as his heart was stabbed a thousand times over, breath caught in the back of his throat. He was foolish. Foolish to believe he ever stood a chance.

He felt like he was being crushed, like a ten thousand kilo weight had been dropped on him, shattering his bones and every internal organ in his body. Yukihira and Erina Nakiri were holding hands. The knife twisted within his chest. He never stood a chance. Not against someone like her, who's perfection was known all too well over the school. She was superior to him in every way, with that dazzling beauty, cooking-skill that couldn't be rivaled by anyone else. Of course he'd choose her. Takumi was stupid to even think otherwise.

He stood for what felt like years, watching their forms retreat back into their dorm. The moment replaying over and over in his head. Why did it hurt so much? He knew it would happen eventually. Why did he feel so damn betrayed? Yukihira had never known, been oblivious to his feelings. He hadn't betrayed him. And yet, seeing them like this- Takumi furiously wiped at the tears which were threatening to fall from his eyes. _Why was I not good enough?_

He thought they'd had something special. Yukihira was his rival, the person that kept him going. But had he been the same? Realisation dawned in on him like a blow to the chest. He'd never realised just how one-sided this had all been. God, Yukihira had never viewed him in the same light. Yukihira liked him, Takumi knew that for certain. But as friends, nothing more. Barely even rivals. Takumi had been the one to insist upon that for so long. He had foolishly seen the friendship as something more. He was an idiot.

He swallowed the tears, forced the lump back down his throat. _Ran_. He couldn't face this.

* * *

He buried his face into his sheets, feeling Isami's hand gently rub circles round his back. Soothing him. He couldn't hold back the sobs, not anymore. It hurt too much. His chest burned, and it hurt _so much._ He wanted to scream, curse, cry out at the world for being so unfair, for leading him on for so long. Teasing him with this tiny sliver of hope that'd he'd clung onto like a lifeline. Yukihira had made him whole. He was that lost part which had held Takumi back for so long, allowed for him to move forward and progress. He was going places, achieving his dreams. And yet, it felt as if his whole world had suddenly gone dark, that the bright spark of light he'd been following for so long was torn out of his reach. By Erina Nakiri no less.

"It's okay, fratello." It wasn't okay. It would never be okay. God, he was so stupid. Falling for Souma Yukihira of all people.

He wanted to sleep, his sobbing died down, shoulders stopped trembling. He could feel Isami's concern burning into his back. He wanted to forget about all this, forget what he'd seen, go back to that naivety telling him that he'd stood a chance. He had been certain that Yukihira's smiles and teasing had meant something, that his feelings had been returned. That the smile Yukihira only ever wore around him, meant that Yukihira loved him back. He'd been wrong, so wrong.

 _His head was spinning, what had even been in that rice juice? People were passed out around him, soft snores filling the room. His eyes were not on them, they rested on the slumbering form of Yukihira, who lay close. So close to him. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest, his eyes widening in realisation that he'd been staring for perhaps to long. He drew his eyes away, frowning as he felt that irritating blush creep up on his cheeks. Yukihira was so cute when he slept, so peaceful. He could spend all night watching him sleep. Seeing that peaceful expression on his face, the soft rise and fall of his chest. No-one would notice, right?_

Takumi struggled to get out of bed that morning. A lead weight was crushing him, holding him down. He could barely force himself to move. He had lessons to get to. He needed to get up. A deep sigh left his lips as he sat up, Isami was passed out on the end of his bed. Had he really stayed with him all night? He shook his brothers' shoulder, "Get up, we're going to by late."

* * *

Lessons were agonising. He was in the same classes as Yukihira for the most of them. Yukihira who wouldn't even look at him. Yukihira who was too busy gushing over Nakiri to even spare him a glance. He felt the same pain as before stabbing him in the chest. He barely listened to the teacher, who was telling them to pair up. His eyes were too busy watching Yukihira, as he paired up with Alice Nakiri, _at least it wasn't Erina Nakiri_ , listening to their excited chatter about Souma's new relationship. He hardly noticed as Megumi slipped in beside him.

"Are you alright, Takumi?" Her voice was small, worried as always. Large golden eyes staring at him in concern. He appreciated her company.

"I'm fine." He stated, a blatant lie evident by the exhaustion in his voice. Megumi seemed to notice.

"You seem upset." She busied herself with prepping the food and he realised he should probably be doing the same.

"It's nothing to worry about." It'd be gone soon, right? He'd get used to Yukihira being with someone else and it wouldn't hurt so much. _He should be with me._ He was distracted. Didn't notice as he brought down the knife on his hand, rather than the vegetables he was chopping. He cried out at the sudden pain, red blood gushing everywhere.

Megumi squealed in fright. "We should get you to the infirmary!" She exclaimed. People were staring at them. Yukihira was staring at them.

The professor walked over, took one look at his injury and sent them both away.

Megumi continued to fuss over him the entire way. "Gosh, you're bleeding so much, here use this to apply pressure!" She'd removed her apron, bundling it up and placing it over his hand, using it to mop up the blood.

He'd cut himself. _Cut himself_. He hadn't injured himself whilst cooking since he was a child. _Damn it_. "I shouldn't have been distracted." He murmured. He could feel his shoulders shaking. He was getting upset again. _Damn it all_.

Megumi placed an arm around his trembling shoulders, her eyes growing wide. "What's wrong?" She questioned sadly. She was so nice. No wonder his brother was in love with her. "You haven't been yourself all day."

"Yukihira has a girlfriend." He stated bluntly, ignoring the pangs of pain in his chest. "A _girlfriend."_ He repeated, bitterness in his voice.

"You like him." Realisation dawned on Megumi and her eyes widened even further, "I'm so sorry Takumi, I didn't even realise-"

"-It's fine." He cut her off. No-one seemed to have realised. Isami was the only one who knew. "I shouldn't be so bothered by something this stupid."

"It's not stupid!" Megumi exclaimed, "It's perfectly normal to feel this way, it must be so hard."

He swallowed. It _was_ hard. "I hate seeing them together." He spoke with a sigh, Megumi nodded in understanding. "It's selfish of me."

"It's not selfish. You're hurting. I can't even imagine what it would be like seeing Isami with someone else." Takumi's lips twitched into a small smile at the mention of his brother. They were cute together. "Let's just get you to the infirmary, okay? I don't want you passing out on me from blood-loss."

He nodded.

"You should come out with me and Isami tonight, to the market. It might help you take your mind off things."

"I don't want to be a third wheel."

"You won't be! We'd love to have you come along." He smiled. Megumi was so considerate. He would be glad to have her in his family in the future.

By the time he'd finished getting stitches in his hand, his lessons were over for the day. Megumi had told him her and Isami would meet him outside, he appreciated her efforts to cheer him up. The evening trip wouldn't do much in the long run, but it'd be nice to be distracted for a little while.

* * *

He met them at the gates, Isami smiling brightly as he approached the two. "Megumi told me about your hand," He said, looking down at the bandage, "Are you okay, brother?"

Takumi nodded. It didn't hurt. Although that was probably just the painkillers he'd been given.

"I'm glad you're joining us." Isami chirped, "Normally you just spend your evenings cooped up in your room."

"Shut up." He said defensively. Face turning bright red. Almost the same shade as Yukihira's hair. _Don't think about him._

It elected a small giggle from Megumi, who intertwined her fingers with Isami.

"You really should get out more." Isami chuckled.

The market was quiet. It was nice. The three of them walked in a comfortable silence, occasionally passing comments between them. For the most of the trip, there were no thoughts about Yukihira at all. Maybe he should spend time with them more often. Megumi returned with them to their dorm, "Would you like to join us in the kitchen, Takumi?" She asked, "We're trying out a few new dishes."

He shook his head. "You two enjoy yourselves, I think I'm going to get an early nights sleep."

She nodded. Isami smiled at him from beside her. "Good night, brother!"

* * *

He hated being so reliant on Isami, but Takumi thoroughly enjoyed his and Megumi's company. And it was certainly better than being miserable all day thinking about Yukihira. It still hurt him to think about Yukihira, but the pain was getting more manageable as time went on. He worked with Megumi through most of his lessons, since Isami was in the other class, and shortly found himself not thinking about Yukihira at all. He still lacked his former flame, the one that burned bright around Yukihira, fuelling him with a determination to succeed. But even if he wasn't as driven, he was keeping up with his classes. It was going well.

He smiled in departure at Megumi as she left with Isami for lunch break. They'd offered him to come, but he politely refused. He wanted to spend time alone, spend some time in the dorm kitchen. Hopefully regain his spark for cooking. He wasn't expecting to be stopped.

"Hey, Aldini!" He bristled at the voice. _Now you decide to pay me attention, when things are finally going well?_ He didn't even glance over his shoulder as Yukihira ran up to him, that trademark grin on his face. "I've been trying to catch you for weeks! Have you been avoiding me?"

"I have no reason to avoid you, i-idiot!" He said in return, hoping the irritation in his voice would be enough to prompt Yukihira to leave.

"Good, 'cause I still want to have a battle with you!" Takumi's heart fluttered at the words. "I've already spoken to Erina, she is totally down to being our judge." The butterfly in his chest was impaled with a burning hot spear.

"I'm busy at the moment." He stated. Yukihira seemed to visibly deflate.

"Another time then? I've not spoken to you in a while, I wanna make sure that your skills are still a match for mine!"

"Maybe, if I have the time." Yukihira grinned at him.

"See you later then!" Yukihira spoke to him. Wanted to compete with him. He still wanted to be Takumi's rival. Despite this crushing pain, that glimmer of hope was back, brighter than ever. Yukihira still cared about him. Maybe, just maybe there was still a chance. Yukihira could break up with Nakiri soon, why did he think this relationship meant he was going to lose Yukihira forever? There was still a chance. He was just stupid to think this was the end of everything.

"Yukihira!" He cried out, saw the red-head turn back to him, grinning broadly. "I'll meet you at your dorm in two hours!"

"You're on, Aldini!"

His time in the kitchen was fuelled with a burning intensity, a desire to succeed, to prove himself. He'd show Yukihira that he was better than Nakiri, he'd prove it to him in this challenge. Then Yukihira had to acknowledge him as someone more important, right? He would win this. He still had a chance.

 **AN** : This came completely out of no-where so I apologise if it's not the best quality.

I was listening to Starset, hence the story title, and the song Dark On Me, just kinda reminded me of Takumi and yeah, I rolled with it.

I'm pretty new to this fandom, as in, I only started watching the anime a few weeks ago. And I just started shipping Soutaku straight away. Takumi is madly in love with Souma, it's obvious. As obvious as the fact Takumi is gay as a rainbow. Anyone who says otherwise is in denial.

This is partially me venting about the lack of Soutaku, by writing something angsty in which Takumi is pining hard for Souma, whose feelings aren't returned. It's honestly how the anime makes me feel. That I'm reaching out for a ship that will never be canon. Poor Takumi will never get his true love, since Souma seems to be paired up with Erina.

I also ship Megumi and Isami. Why? Because I think they'd be cute together that's why.

Anywho, this was pretty sad. So I'm gonna try and write something fluffier down the line, since I just want Souma and Takumi to be together damn it.

If you enjoyed this, please leave a review so I know you'd like to see more down the line. It isn't necessary, but it brightens up my day to see that people like my work.

Other than than, please enjoy!


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